You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
