i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
