Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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