Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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