He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
