bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
