Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize