and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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