i wish there were pregnant emoticons
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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