she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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