break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You made out with two different species that night
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
