thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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