party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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