Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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