omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
