Dual....:-)
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
