Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize