I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
