Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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