Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
