Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
