I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
