White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He told me they were just razor bumps!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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