you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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