Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
