We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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