i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
