When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
