i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
