Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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