I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
