Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
