Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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