break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize