She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
