How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
