I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Every concussion has its silver lining
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
