Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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