We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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