This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize