Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
