exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
