Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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