hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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