can u get pink eye on your cock?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Randomize
