i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
