So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
