You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
