Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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