Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
