I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
