names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
