Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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