im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
