Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.

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(802): View more from Vermont

and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge

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(309): View more from Illinois

He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.

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(518): View more from New York

My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.

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(708): View more from Illinois

what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?

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(269): View more from Michigan

Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry

(1-269): View more from Michigan

im coming over

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(630): View more from Illinois

He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.

(1-816): View more from Missouri

Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.

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