Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
