yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
