**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
