operation harelip BJ is a go
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
