I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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