I hope mine doesn't look like that
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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