Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
