I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
His nipple licking is glorious
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