It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
