He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
