There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
