I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
