at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
