I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize