There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I want to make a zoo with you.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
