I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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